Catching Up

I've been away from the blog for a while, but, at the request of a few near and dear, I figured I'd revisit it.

SEEING:

The University of Dallas campus is in full bloom these days. The weather has been up and down - very inconsistent - but seems to have settled in the mid 70s with sunshine for now. It's beautiful.

DOING:

Mom and Dad came for a visit the last 2 weeks of February. They spent a week with us then drove down to Corpus Christi with some friends, then back up to Dallas for a weekend and finally drove home to WI. There was lots of chatting, eating, drinking of various brewed beverages and some nice walks. We took them to see the local wildlife and the imported wildlife and visited a few of our favorite restaurants. I think I can safely say it was a very enjoyable and refreshing for all parties.

The weekend after they left Chris and I flew into St. Louis to visit (best man) Andy Wegrzyn and his fiance Amanda. Also a very enjoyable and refreshing trip. It is hard to accurately describe the feeling of gradually leaving the city behind and slowly entering the peace of the country unless you've actually done it yourself - carefully noting the thinning of suburbia, the increase in groves of trees, larger and larger open fields, the flitting by of little country towns and finally settling in at a farmhouse, nestled in the hollow of a pasture. The air was cool and clean and fresh, the sun was warm (except for the few hours on Sunday when a tornado blew through) and the company most excellent. Needless to say, it was very rejuvenating simply to be there. We went on a tour of the Crane farm, which included a visit to the "shop" where the mammoth tractors and combines resided and a drive through 2000+ acres of corn and soybeans, with a stop by Amanda's Great Grandparents first farmstead. We also got to go shooting! Shot guns and clay pigeons followed by target practice with handguns. It was surprisingly very fun! as well as little amusing and delightful to see Chris shooting - perhaps because shooting is such a "country" thing to do, and Chris is not exactly "country". But, regardless of being country or not, he done me proud, knocking down 2 pigeons in one pull! He was certainly a better shot than I.

Home now for 3 weeks and then off again for back-to-back wedding weekends - Up to MSP for Jared and Trish's wedding and then a weekend road trip to Omaha NE for a "Hillsdale" wedding.

Also doing:

The Taxes - which I secretly enjoy!

Frisbee in the afternoon with Chris

Dinner with friends

The card game Golf - also with Chris

Mass at 5:00 every evening during the week

Needless to say, work from 6am to 3pm M-F

Watching some basketball and listening to some Cubs spring training games - mostly on the weekends.

and a few nice walks

READING:

Just finished David Copperfield. I joined a Dickens book club about 1 1/2 months ago. David Copperfield was the first book and now we are taking a little break over lent. Not sure what I'm going to start next. I've been picking and choosing my way through "God in the Dock" by Lewis to hold me over until I get going on something new.

I've also been reading 3 books on raising sheep - though only on Sundays because I gave it up for Lent ("why" you might ask did I give it up for Lent? A just question, answered below).

LISTENING:

The 2 Disc set Essential Bach, Vivaldi and, when called for, Michael Buble (Again, one may ask "when is Buble called for?" Answer = 9:30 pm doing a stack of dishes - Note 9:30 is my bed time)

OFFERING FOR LENT: 

Tea. Every morning I come into work, sit down at my desk and want a warm cup of tea. And every morning I say no to this little pleasure in the practice of submitting my desire. Practice, because in daily life, with more significant things, we are asked to submit our will, to the good and perfect will of God.  

Farm books. I have a stack of library books on various farming issues (mostly sheep at this point) sitting next to the couch which I am only reading as a treat on Sundays.  The reason I've given them up for Lent is to practice patients and trust.  My natural tendency is to forage ahead down the path of whatever has taken my fancy, making plans and counting on it coming about. But, becoming farmers is not my choice alone and I need to practice both patients - to give Chris the space and time he needs to process and make a decision - and trust - believing that God will direct our future.  Before I get us fitted out as shepherds, complete with crook and watch dog, I'd better be certain these other two so intimately connected with my life are headed/leading in the same direction.   

ENJOYING:

The warm sun

Little birds in the tree outside our patio door

Being Debt Free! (we paid off the last of our student loans at the end of February and are currently 100% debt free!)

My husbands blog

The flowers on campus

Talking walks during my lunch break

Baking bread and making Pizza with my stone and peel

LOOKING FORWARD TO:

The pool being open

Seeing family at the end of this month

March Madness

Driving across Michigan with Betsy

Opening day of Baseball season

Going to a lecture on Dante tomorrow night

Spending the evening with Chris

Being pregnant 

On that last note - yes, we are still waiting.  It's something that is constantly on my mind - a day doesn't pass that I don't think about it - some harder than others.  It requires a lot of patience too.  We saw an Infertility specialist about a month ago and have started a course of action, but it will take some time.  Still waiting; still praying; still looking forward to it.

Cheers!

The First of a Few

(Note:  I began writing the following few posts well before the election and I had intended them to be up before now.  But, even though late, I still think they are relevant)

 

The following few posts have been on my mind for a couple of few weeks and is a result of this article and training at the White Rose Women's Center.

 

 

 

I

 

Imaginary Question Posed to one of my coworkers: If Adolf Hitler was running in this election and he had the key to all the social and financial problems, would you vote for him?

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because, the guy was crazy.  He killed so many innocent people."

"Well, I know he killed people.  But what if he REALLY has the answers - not just a great plan that may work, but the actual answers. He will fix the whole issue with the market, he'll finish the war in Iraq, he'll significantly reduce poverty, he'll reduce crime, he'll make our schools better, he'll make sure everyone has health insurance, he'll ensure a comfortable retirement for all - in short, he'll will bring peace and give the American Dream to all. What do you say?"

"Well. . . I don't know.  I guess still no.  He killed so many people!  And if you made him president he would have the power to do a lot more killing if he wanted to."

"But just think.  All the people he didn't kill would be living the dream.  No more poverty!  No more people going with out healthcare!  No more homeless or hungry.  No more illiterate or people not getting into college because they can't afford it.  No more worrying about retirement.  It'd be amazing!"

"That does sound pretty good."

"But, I forgot to mention, he has stated he will still have one concentration camp in the country - only for "research purposes" though.  A random sampling of the American populous will go to the camp:  Every 7th Jew, 10th Hispanic, 20th African American, 80th Native American, every 103rd High School drop out, every 142nd woman with brown hair and blue eyes, and every 275th man that is 6'3'' in the US will be sent to the camp. Would you vote for him?"

"No way!  Dude!  If you had told me that to begin with!  Of course I'm not going to vote for him."

"Why not?"

"Because, you can't just randomly kill people! That's absurd! I don't care if he can totally fix the economy and give most people the American dream; killing people is killing people and not worth it!"

"Hmmm. Ok, fair enough. So, I guess you could say that some things are more important than others.  Like, not randomly killing people is more important than fixing the economy and making life comfortable for people. Or, to put it another way, human life is more important than economics."

"Well, yeah, I guess so. At least in that case. It's just not fair to randomly kill people, even if it means a better life for others."

 

-------------------

 

I've never heard any relativistic rot used when talking about Hitler.  "Well now, let's not judge.  Hitler had his views and we have ours.  We shouldn't force our views on him.  If he thinks Jews are sub-human and wants to kill them and use them for experiments, who are we to say he is wrong? Besides, we shouldn't force him to live with thousands of Jews (or Catholics or gypsies) if he doesn't want to.  That would probably make his life difficult.  And it would be imposing our views on him.  He has his rights you know."  

Absurd.  

Only the most blind and truly demented people could argue this way.

(If you haven't already, read the article I linked to above.  The author makes a similar point between slavery and abortion - which leads me to my next post.)

One Quick Take

The Gospel reading from yesterday:

Jesus said to his disciples: “Suppose one of you has a friend to whom he goes at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey and I have nothing to offer him,’ and he says in reply from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked and my children and I are already in bed. I cannot get up to give you anything.’ I tell you, if he does not get up to give him the loaves because of their friendship, he will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence. “And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish?Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

Two things struck me as I listened to this. The first was my shock in hearing the last sentence - "how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?" Why does Jesus throw this in there? He's just been saying that those who ask and seek diligently will receive. But then, like the turn at the end of a sonnet, he adds "you will receive the Holy Spirit." "But," one might say, "I wasn't asking for the Holy Spirit. I was asking for x." Father Tony explained that God does give good gifts to us - it just may not be exactly what we were asking for. And for those who are earnestly seeking, He will give the gift of the Holy Spirit to discern (or at least accept) the gift that Got is giving. The gift that is the Holy spirit is the gift of discernment, understanding, peace, gratitude.

The second thing I realized was that our current state of infertility is not a snake; it's a fish. I need eyes to see and a heart to understand - but the REALITY and TRUTH is that our not being able to conceive is a good gift from God.

(The thought of God handing me a fish makes me laugh. "Here you go - have a fish." "A fish? I didn't ask for a fish, I asked for a baby." "Yes, I know you asked for a baby, but I am giving you a fish." "hmmm, OK. A fish. Thanks. What do I do with a fish?" - I guess I'll have to figure it out :)

Quick Takes

I have this view of my blog that each and every post must be long and say something profound - therefore I don't post. So I'm taking my cue from Conversion Diary and offering short snippets:

--1--

Since I just introduced it, I'll start with the Conversion Diary blog. It is a new favorite. She is a fantastic writer and her conversion story is amazing. I would highly recommend taking some time to read through her story. Chris and I were commenting the other day on how powerful other peoples conversion stories were for us when we were considering converting and how we still so enjoy hearing them. It is so wonderful hearing how God calls other people to Himself.

--2--

I've been reading "Covenanted Happiness" by Cormac Burke. I'm not quite sure how to describe it except - AMAZING!!! It has radically changed my view and understanding of marriage and the family. It is seriously counter cultural. . . well, to clarify, the teachings of the Catholic Church are seriously counter cultural on these issues, and all Burke does is flesh out the teachings. As I read I keep thinking "I need to post on this! I want to share this with other people" but then I realize I probably would need to write a paper on it - or maybe a book - and then I realize other people have written on it much better than I ever could. But, since most of you aren't going to read through a stack of books on the topic, maybe I'll still do the post (or a series of them)

Here is the table of contents for the book - I'm only through chapter 9. The book is actually a compilation of a few different articles/presentations/essays by Burke, reorganized and edited to make a complete book. There are some chapters that cover the same or similar topics and the chapters don't always seem to be in the most logical of orders. It certainly isn't a book that needs to be read cover to cover.

The introduction and chapter 1 are a great overview of sexuality - or maleness and femaleness, "male and female He created them." (Anyone who doesn't think there is a difference between the sexes, try these sections on for size)

Chapter 2, Conjugal Love and Indissolubility, discusses why a life-long commitment to one spouse is a good thing - and increases happiness. Burke contrasts two views of man. "Secular anthropology" is based on an individualistic view of man and believes the "key to human fulfillment [is the] self: self-identification, self-assertion, self-concern..." "Individualism fosters a fundamentally self-centered approach to marriage, seeking to get from it rather than being prepared to give in it: will this - this union, this liaison, this arrangement - make me happy?" In contrast to this view, Burke offers the anthropology of personalism. "The essence of true personalism is expressed in Gaudium et Spes, no. 24: "man can fully discover his true self only in a sincere giving of himself". We can only "realize" or fulfil our self, by giving our self. . . Marriage represents the most concrete natural type of self-giving for which man and woman are made." Good stuff!

Chapter 3 is a more of an overview of marriage and family. Chapters 2 and 3 would be a GREAT reading assignment for a pre marriage class or newlyweds :)

Chapters 4 and 7 discuss children, the lack of children and contraception in marriage. WOW! Amazing! Chapter 7 is pretty philosophical and I had a hard time following all of it, but chapter 4 is great. The main point: Children are a great good in marriage - in fact, they are one of THE GOODS in marriage and should not be seen as "optional." They should be seen as one of the very good results of marriage and essential to the happiness of the spouses and family as a whole. With that said, the decision not to have children should be seen as a privation and and an exception. Having children is the norm of marriage (one of it's natural and very good ends) and only the gravest of reasons should keep a couple from pursuing/accepting the good that is children. (Did I mention counter cultural and changing my view! WOW)

Chapters 5 and 6 on divorce are fantastic. I found chapter 5 to be very powerful and another great read for a pre-marriage class (or for anyone who feels like their marriage is heading down hill or who has a friend who is considering divorce.)

Chapter 8 reiterates a lot of what is in chapter 4 and focuses on how we as a culture do not value children. Here is a long-ish quote from the chapter:

In seminars, when this matter comes up, I have at time asked my students to consider a small matter of comparative analysis. It goes something like this:

Family A: 2 Children 2 Cars 2 TVs 2 DVD The best Schools Holidays Abroad

Family B: 5 Children 1 Car 1 TV 0 DVD Second-rate Schools No Holidays Abroad

After putting this on the board, my first question to the students is: Which family has the higher standard of living? They all answer: Family A, of course. So I repeat the question: Which family has the higher standard of living? There may be the slightest hesitation, but they repeat the same answer. So I repeat the same question again, and a third, and perhaps a fourth time. Perplexity sets in, hesitations grow, until in the end someone "concedes": "well, of course, if you start considering children as part of your standard of life..."
"If you start"... It is indeed time that we started putting children down on the assets side, and not on the liabilities. On both, you say? OK; on both: like your motor car. A car is an asset and a liability. It costs money and effort and attention to acquire and to maintain: just as a child does. Your choice should begin by considering which is worth more, because to choose the other is to lower one's own standard of living [8].
"Which will give me more satisfaction?" is no doubt a utili­tarian rather than an idealistic viewpoint. Yet, even if a person wishes to apply that view to our subject, he or she would do well to consider the money and time and effort that people nowadays put into golf or computers or creative gardening, working at them, reading all about them, in search of a satisfaction they do not always get.
How come they do not think parenthood worth working at? How is it they do not study books (there are plenty available) on how to enjoy caring for one's children, on the satisfactions of being a parent? And how is it (our horizons broaden again) they do not sense the call of an utterly unique creativity, the adventure of being co-creators?

In Kenya some years ago, an African who had learned that the Western fertility rate averaged about 1.2, remarked to me: "Western couples must be very poor if they can't afford to have more than two children..." He was not a qualified "expert" in the Western sense; yet his words may be worth pondering. They could be complemented with another bit of "non-expert" wisdom, this time from the West itself. Some time back in England, I knew a recently married couple, a normal couple who wanted children. One child was born; but then there was an unwanted delay of three or four years. At last the mother became expectant again. Their first-born too was filled with expec­tations. But - a miscarriage occurred. The father had to tell the child he was not going to have that little brother or sister he wanted. "Look; Mom's not going to have that baby after all"; and, bowing before God's inscrutable ways, he added, "it's better that way..." The kid however didn't bow so easily: "But, Daddy, is there anything better than a baby?..." [7]. Computerized programs never anticipate the things that children come up with. The wisdom of children is part of the bonum prolis.

Chapter 9 is actually instruction and encouragement about educating and rearing children with strong moral values and with a well formed conscience.

(That got longer than I intended, but hopefully it whetted some appetites :)

--3--

On Tuesday after work I stopped by a local crisis pregnancy center to see about volunteering. White Rose Women's Center is located 5 minutes from my work and right next door to an abortion clinic. It is the only Catholic pregnancy center in the Dallas area and has a chapel, with the Blessed Sacrament, overlooking the entrance to the abortion clinic. Pretty neat. The visit was really a "this is what we do" introduction and actual training will begin next Tuesday. Besides offering free pregnancy testing, sonograms and counseling, the White Rose also has a large donation center of both new and used baby/child care items. The center puts together a "gift bag" for each of their clients full of the basics for a new mom as well as offers other items for those in need - like cribs, strollers etc. Their main targets are women considering abortions. The lady that gave the tour, Gerri, has been working at the center for 10+ years and is the main "on the floor" worker. From my initial 45 minutes with her she seems like an amazing woman.

--4--

Chris and I are hoping to spend a "fall day out" in a few weekends. This is our potential destination - old time Texas town!

Well, that's all I've got for now.

Spectacular women

I know a few. But 2 stand out in my mind at the moment.
My mom and sister.
Both just celebrated a birthday at the end of August and I thought I'd celebrate them on my blog!

Selfless and Self-giving: Maybe this is splitting hairs, but I'd like to venture a distinction. Selflessness is sacrificing or setting aside one's own interests, often for others or a greater cause. Self-giving is not just setting aside personal interests but actually pouring out the Self. It's what Christ did for us, and it's what we are called to as followers of Christ. And my Mom and Sister are some of the best examples of this that I know.

My Mom is an amazing women. Most of you who know her figured this out soon after meeting her. But I'd like to take a moment to laud my sister. When I step back from interacting and thinking of Missy as "my sister" and consider who she is and what she does, I am astounded. She has become a most amazing woman - like my Mom. A caring, self-giving, nurturing mother and wife. A smart, creative, fun-loving teacher. A prudent, frugal, tasteful, diligent homemaker. And a dear friend. (The apple didn't fall far from the tree).
I think my mom did and Missy is doing some of the most important, worthwhile, hardest and often times thankless work that can ever be done - being an emotionally and physically available, loving, caring, intentional, attentive, nurturing, supportive mom.

When I grow up I hope I'm just like them.

Daydreaming

Here is a blog entry worth reading that my mother passed along to me.

Summer Time

I've been informed that my lack of posting has made some of my readers (or reader, as the case may be) "angry." So, in an attempt to appease the masses - a post.

Since mid-May Chris and I have been on "summer holiday" - of sorts. We are both still working full time and have not taken any major vacations, but, for the first time since we married, Chris has not been in a class. A full 2 months with no evening class!

During the school year I had a pretty set schedule during the week: work 6-3, work out 3:30 - 4:15 M,W,F or go to the chapel T,TH, head home and either clean up and head to 5 o'clock Mass or just start dinner. The day's I went to Mass I would hurry home and whip up a quick dinner before Chris had to rush off to class. They were full days - nice, but full.

But, with the end of the semester and 5 o'clock Mass on campus our afternoons/evenings have stretched out before us with infinite possibilities.

One of our favorite things this summer has been listening to the Cub's games online. Earlier in the season we would sit out on our little deck, listening to Ron Santo and Pat Hughes announce the game. We listen so often that I've gotten pretty attached to them. It is not an uncommon evening for me to crawl into bed around 9pm, Chris strumming his guitar, and Ron and Pat giving the play by play from Wrigley Field. 95% of the time I don't make it to the end of the game, but, if it's a good game, Chris will whisper the final score to me before he turns out the lights.

Another summer-time favorite has been Sunday and Wednesday evening Ultimate Frisbee. During the heat of the summer months we play later in the evening - 7:30ish - under the lights on the Universities Rugby field. Co-ed, fairly competitive and a lot of fun!

In an attempt to stay fit, Chris and I have been swimming laps 2-3 times a week. We each got a pair of goggles and feel very official.

A few highlights from the summer:

Our dear friend Andy came for a visit over Memorial Day weekend. It was so nice to visit with him and hear about his adventures in Kentucky.

Over the 4th of July, in an attempt to "get out into nature" the two of us took an ill-advised walk around the renowned White Lake Rock just east of down town Dallas. I had heard it was a great place to bike, but since our bikes were not in tip-top shape we decided to hoof it. About 20 minutes into our walk we came upon a small map of the lake. It was pretty sizable, but we were both in good spirits and it was still only mid-morning, so we decided to press on and complete the entire circuit. 2.5 hours and 9.3 miles later two very sun-burned individuals collapsed into their little white Honda Civic. I don't know if "fun" is exactly the correct word - but it certainly was an adventure.

In June, Chris took a 1 week trip to Chicago to visit family and friends. Due to limited time off of work I was not able to go with him, but I did have a college friend - Ms. Betsy Maynard - visit for a few days. We ventured over to Fort Worth to see the long-horns one evening and then headed down to Houston for a friend's wedding.

A few weeks after that Chris and I made the 4 hour drive back down to Houston for a long weekend away. It was sort of a late anniversary trip - and it just so happened to be the weekend the Cubs were in town. It was a fabulous weekend! We went to all 3 games, spent a morning swimming in the ocean and driving along the coast and enjoyed a very nice hotel!(take the hotel tour) It was perhaps the highlight of the summer thus far.

The last of a long list of weddings took place at the end of July. Dan and Bethany, dear friends of ours, were married July 26th and moved into the condo directly across from ours.

Chris has been in an intense 5 week summer class since July 14th on Acts and the letters of Paul. He's been enjoying the class - and working so very hard! It's been a lot of fun gleaning all the knowledge he is receiving and talking with him about it. The class wraps up this week and then we'll have a little over 2 weeks before the fall classes start. During that time we are taking a quick trip up to Wisconsin to visit my family and help my parents get the farm ready to sell - a much anticipated visit!

I hope this satisfies the craving for a post - but I WILL try to post more frequently.

Cheers!